Post-Weekend Update

So it’s been a little while since I have had time to update you all, so I’m taking a few minutes on this lazy Monday afternoon while Hazel naps upstairs.

My mom is currently visiting, and she arrived last Tuesday in the late morning.  I haven’t seen her since June, so I was pretty excited for her to see Hazel, who is by now a near-functioning human and has a real personality that’s all her own.  She shows affection and gives kisses and will crawl up your lap to give you hugs.  She laughs like crazy and smiles at you when you walk into the room.  This is quite different from the baby she saw a few months back, the one that had to sleep every hour and half and eat every two and a half and poop four times in a day.

The greatest thing about having a visitor that wants a lot of baby time is taking a shower.  Not just your usual mom-shower that lasts for maybe five minutes until your baby cries, but a long one where you can actually shave your legs and exfoliate your skin and deep condition your hair.  After all of that, you come out all swollen and puffy from the extreme heat and steam and get to actually put lotion on your body.  It’s glorious.  I really have taken advantage of these showers this week because I won’t have this opportunity again until Thanksgiving.  And that seems so far away.

The next thing to the greatest thing is that David and I got to see a movie together.  I know, we get so crazy.  We saw Fury and I really, really enjoyed it.  World War II is very interesting to me, and very scary.  It was slightly on the long side, but most movies are these days.  I would recommend it if you like war movies and “historical” movies.  I use quotes because I don’t actually know how true to life the film is, due to the fact I am certainly no expert on the matter of World Wars.

We even rented a movie after Hazel went to sleep one night, and we never do that either.  We decided upon Edge of Tomorrow, which evidently has the new name of Live, Die, Repeat: Edge of Tomorrow.  David says this is because the film performed so poorly at the box office, and wanted to dissociate themselves from the original title?  Surprise, it was actually a pretty good movie!  I know Tom Cruise gets a bad rap these days, but he was quite good, and the story line didn’t get old like I thought it would, despite the fact he relived the same day probably a couple hundred times.  Red Box it.  If you like sci-fi you won’t regret it.  Probably.

I bought Hazel some new winter clothes, since she now has moved to twelve month sizes.  When will this beast/child slow her growth?  Babies, man.  Mom and I sure had a lot of fun in Carter’s.  Babies have the cutest clothes ever, and you can go bananas in there and buy the whole store on accident if you aren’t careful.

Oh!  And we ate at the Cheesecake Factory.  Which really is nothing to write home about until CHEESECAKE.  Lemon Meringue cheesecake was DA BOMB.  If I could eat it everyday for life I wouldn’t live very long, but it would be delicious.

She is leaving tomorrow, and we don’t want her to go!  Haze loves her and I think it will be sad for everyone when she has to say goodbye to my pudgy princess.  We are going home though on December 20th, so it won’t be too long until we’re there.  We will be a car full of three humans and three dogs.  That’s right, we are bringing the monsters.  Boarding them for 12 days would be crazy expensive and we can’t trust anyone on this earth to care for them.  Full car, and then full house.

I’ll post more about our impending trip later.  For now, it is dinner time.  Adios!

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Movies

I see a lot of movies.  Well, more so before Hazel, but I still make a point to go to see a movie in the theater almost every weekend.  I have a hard time watching movies at home now of days because I am constantly being interrupted by my infant, but maybe someday I can rent more.

This weekend I watched Men, Women & Children.  I posted about this movie a little while ago with a trailer, and it finally came out this weekend.  I won’t lie to you, it kind of depressed me.  It brought to my attention the fact that one day I’ll be raising a teenager in a virtual world full of cell phones and ipads and who even knows what else?  My first thought was that I hope I never have any boys because there is so much pornography online.  Sex was a really central topic for this film.  One of the kids was fifteen years old, and when he attempted to lose his virginity he could not perform because he was so dependent on porn and deviant behaviors depicted in the pornography that he couldn’t even get an erection.  And this is not a new concept, I’ve even known a person with that same issue, according to his ex-girlfriend.  I am telling you, I am so happy I have a daughter.

My next thought was that my parents totally got lucky!  Facebook and all of this social media bullshit really exploded after I graduated high school, and I feel like my parents didn’t have to worry as much about me as I will have to worry about Hazel.  There’s so much more bullying and objectification and sex online that kids have access to at any time of day, on any device.  Kids just have to deal with so much now.  I’m going to try not to worry too much about this stuff right now, I can just push these fears away for about thirteen more years if I’m lucky, ten if I’m not.

But after the movie, I got to come home to my baby and kiss her and squeeze her blubbery thighs (thank you Christina) and watch her crawl/scoot all over the place.  She is getting so big so fast and I can’t believe it.  Erin and I are already talking about the babies’ first birthday party which will hopefully happen as a joint endeavor.  Of course this is totally acceptable because we live really far away from our family, so a lot of advanced notice is necessary.

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Dashed Dreams

When you’re a kid, you have all kinds of ideas about your future life of grandeur.  Astronaut, veterinarian, president of the United States are all popular choices of careers chosen by young children.  Or at least they were when I was a child.

My personal childhood dreams consisted of being a veterinarian, being a famous rockstar, and being a Disney Princess.  Disney Princess is probably the best one but whatever.  All of these delusions stem from a lifetime of my parents telling me I could be anything I want to be.  Which is great, right?  Your parents probably told you the same things.

However, I don’t really think Disney Princess or rockstar is what they meant.  I also doubt that my father’s parents ingrained the same mantra into his head.  His parents were probably like, “You can be a farmer or own a small business.”  Which are fine, realistic dreams that he could have achieved for sure.

I obviously didn’t even try to attain those goals I had when I was six.  I even wanted to be a veterinarian until junior high, but then when I learned how expensive it is to go to school for that, that dream quickly died like the rest of them.

So my question is: how do you raise a child to have dreams without being negative when their goal is just seriously crazy?  Let’s face it, the odds of Hazel ever becoming the next Taylor Swift are pretty much one in a million if not worse.  But she might grow up wanting that life.  How can you give your kids “realistic” goals?  Is there such a thing as a realistic dream?

The Love That Let Us Share Our Name

It’s definitely an Avett Bros kind of day, wouldn’t you agree?  In our part of Texas, today has been cloudy and cold.  Cold of course being seventy-seven degrees for our high.  But still, it’s breezy and makes me feel like “winter is coming.”  I suppose that it is.

I’m ready for November to get here so we can go vote for Wendy.  I don’t think she is going to win unfortunately, but it’s worth a shot!  Oh, and I can’t wait to vote for Gallego just because I can’t stand that ad against him talking about how he didn’t vote for the pipeline to come through TX, so we lost out on jobs or whatever their point is.  I hope you are all looking forward to voting as well because these are the most important elections.

I’ve noticed a lot of people say they are republican or democrat but actually side with the other party on the majority of issues.  So please, before you go to the polls, do a little research and make sure you’re voting for the person that actually represents you, don’t just vote for the party you think you should belong to.

I don’t even know why I’m talking about that anyway.

Moving On

Pretty much all of my life, I had three best friends.  Particularly in high school we were all really close.  Even up until I moved to Texas, we all got along pretty well, with the exception of two who didn’t really see eye to eye anymore.

Rachel was the first one to move.  She moved to Jacksonville probably four or five years ago now.  That was pretty far, but the four of us still remained generally pretty tight-knit.  I’m sure for Rachel it was torturous to see the three of us hanging out without her, especially because moving a thousand miles away from home can be really lonely.  A little over three years ago, David and I moved to Texas, and that’s when things changed.

More accurately, right after my 23rd birthday.  I had been feeling pretty distant with Margo for some time at that point.  She called a few times per week when I first moved, and that was great effort.  However, when we’d talk on the phone, she only talked about herself, which wasn’t that uncommon for her anyway.  I’ve never been much of a talker, so usually I feel like people always talk about themselves and I listen.  And that’s okay.  But then she started talking about other people I barely even knew pretty much incessantly.  It was like in her mind, that was all we had to talk about.  The calls to each other went to once a week and then even less than that.

For my 23rd birthday, Rachel and Sophia flew out to visit, and none of us even told Margo.  In hind sight, that was pretty mean of us, and sometimes I regret not even asking her.  We invented some excuse in our heads of why it was better if she didn’t come, and we stuck to it.  The three of us got matching tattoos, and then I went home in March or May, can’t remember which because they both start with “m.”  I’m sure that she was annoyed with me, but Margo called anyway to see if I’d have lunch with her at Seven Saints, which of course I would because who doesn’t love a Cali Turkey Slider with sweet potato fries?  She saw the tattoo and asked about it, and when I told her, she seemed even more annoyed and of course I’m sure she felt left out.

That was the last time I saw or talked to her.  Rachel never talks to her either from what I understand, and Sophia actively avoids her if she sees her out.  It’s arguably much easier for Rachel and I to avoid her, considering we live really far away and go home twice a year.

Moving on from a lifelong friendship can be really hard sometimes.  I do miss her, all of the time.  Last time I visited Illinois with Hazel, I was really really close to calling her and apologizing and asking to see her.  This feeling was prompted by finding the pictures from France her mom had labeled and given to me.  I actually cried because I missed those times.

Something about having a baby and her not being in my life upsets me sometimes.  Up until we moved here, she was like family, and it’s probably the hardest friendship I’ve had to let go.  We used to do everything together and she was basically part of every major life decision I’d ever made.  I still wonder about her all of the time, and wonder if she’s changed, or if I’ve changed.  Would we be more compatible friends?

I’m not sure.  I’m not sure if we would ever be close again.  Do I want to be?  Probably some day, when we have more common ground.  I still love her, and I will always cherish all of our memories together, even the bad ones.

Like I said, moving on can be difficult.  And sad.  Now I’m sad again thinking about all of this even more!  I’m just going to blame these mom-hormones that plague my daily life.

Wearing a sweater Margo's mom knitted for her.  I wish I had one!

Wearing a sweater Margo’s mom knitted for her. I wish I had one!