The Difference Between Dogs and Kids

Before I was pregnant, I was definitely one of those people that’s obsessed with her dogs.  They got all of my attention and I always felt so guilty whenever I went to work and they had to be crated for a few hours.  And now?  They’re great when I can find a few minutes to pet them, but they really aren’t anything like having kids.

I had read a few articles that infuriated me, about how the poor family dog loses everything when the baby comes, and I vowed I’d never be like that.  Well, here I am today, and I can tell you that those people are mostly right.  The most important thing now is your baby, and they really need all of your attention pretty much all day, except for the blissful forty five minutes twice a day that they nap.  In those short spaces of time, the last thing I want is some stinky dog on my lap while I’m trying to just sit and not be touched by another living thing.  Don’t get me wrong, I love holding and cuddling Hazel, but when I get a break, I’m going to take it every time.  So where does that leave Alex, Louie, and Sookie?  Alex gets two pets on the head when he follows me into the bathroom right before I wash my hands.  Louie gets maybe a few pets in a day and Sookie gets a snuggle most nights before I put her to bed.  She also gets along fine lying next to my feet on the ottoman.  Does that count as attention?  It really makes me sad, but I keep telling myself it’s temporary.  Soon, Hazel will be crawling and they’ll all be besties, right?

One more thing that’s changed since having amazing Hazel, is I can’t stand people who DO compare dogs to kids.  Let me just say, ummm no?  The love you have for a pet is nothing compared to your own drooling spawn. Plus, you’ll never want to punch something in the face so much as when your dog barks at the door while your baby is sleeping in your arms and scares the crap out of her.  I would never fantasize about doing that to a baby (duh.) I can put Alex in a crate whenever I want.  Hazel has to go everywhere I go and needs constant love and attention.  For some reason, the fact that you absolutely can not love a dog (or cat) in the same way you love a baby really does offend some people, to whom I say this: Have a baby and you, too, will understand.  Which probably just pisses off those people more.

 

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© Carli Garrison and cllgarrison, 2014.

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